~ Back by popular demand – Baby Sleep Workshops!
~ FREE INFANT MASSAGE CLASS – For parents whose baby or child has a disability
~ Wanted – volunteers and homes for a garden makeover!
~ New research suggests that praise may be harmful to children
~ I know I’m doing the wrong thing but…our baby sleeps in bed with us
~ Using Massage to Develop your Baby’s Social Skills
~ Feature website…Canberra Babywearers
~ Feature book…Our Babies, Ourselves
~ Feature community group…Canberra LETS
~ A Chef’s Perspective on Kids & “Healthy Eating”
~ Tandoori Chicken Salad
~ What’s on for Families in Canberra?
~ General Workshops
~ Workshops for parents affected by PND
~ Infant/ child massage workshop for parents whose child has a disability
Back by Popular Demand - Baby Sleep Workshops!Due to demand, we are again running our baby sleep workshops for families in Canberra who are experiencing difficulties in helping their babies (up to 6 months old) to settle and sleep. We have a 94% success rate with this workshop, with most parents reporting good improvements as a result of the techniques we cover.
The workshops are taught by a Registered Nurse, and a Certified Infant Massage Instructor. They are offered on a “one-on-one” basis to families, to ensure individual attention. The workshop is run over three sessions (of about an hour-and-a-half each). Each workshop includes the full infant massage program, plus additional techniques to help with sleep and settling based on your own individual circumstances and the underlying reasons for sleep and settling problems. This is all offered in a non-judgemental and supportive environment.
This workshop provides a real alternative to controlled crying. Instead of telling you what you "should" be doing, our focus is on giving you the opportunity to see the world through your baby's eyes, and to understand the reasons behind their crying. Rather than instructing you to ignore your baby's cues and signals, you will be shown a range of gentle and loving techniques that you can experiment with to help your baby discover their natural sleep rhythm, without distressing you or your baby. We only work with techniques that help promote - rather than interfere with - your baby's brain and emotional development.
Most parents report significant improvements within 10-14 days of practicing and refining the techniques taught in this program. There are no long waiting lists to get an appointment. Importantly, we only use techniques that promote and strengthen the attachment and trust between you and your baby. In the occasional instances where these techniques do not work for you, we will provide you with a referral to other gentle and attachment-friendly practitioners in Canberra who may be able to assist.
FREE INFANT MASSAGE CLASS – For Parents whose baby or child has a disabilitySkills for Carers at CIT is offering a free infant massage class for parents whose baby or child has a disability. Any parent or primary carer with a baby up to 8 months old OR an older child who is not walking or mobile, and who has a disability, are eligible for this workshop. If you, or someone you know, would like to attend this workshop bookings can be made directly with Skills for Carers at Canberra Institute of Technology.
Book a place or make an enquiry about this workshop by email
Book a place or make an enquiry about this workshop by phone on (02) 6207 3628
Wanted – Volunteers and Homes for a Garden Makeover!Did you know that we use 10 times the amount of petrol in food production, than is used by cars in our day-to-day transport? Therefore, growing our own fresh food at home is one of the most powerful ways that individual households can reduce their impact on the environment.
Permablitz is a new group in Canberra. Just like “Backyard Blitz” a team of people come along to your house, do some planning and design, and help to make over your garden. The difference is that the design is based on principles or permaculture and the focus is on plants that you can eat (vegetables, fruits, herbs).
A Permablitz is an informal gathering involving a day or a weekend when a group of people come together to help:
~ create or add to an edible garden where someone lives;
~ share skills related to permaculture gardening and sustainable living;
~ build friendships; and
~ have fun.
Once you’ve been to and helped out at a few Permablitzes, one can be organised at your home. All work is done by volunteers (including planning and design), so you don’t have to pay for labour. It’s also a great way to meet people and learn new skills.
If you are interested in volunteering with Permablitz, or having a Permablitz at your house, contact the ACT Permablitz Network.
Contact the ACT Permablitz Network by email or by phone on 041 606 5687
New Research Suggests Praise may be Harmful to Kids…For a long time praise has been considered an important way of helping our kids to develop good behaviours and a healthy self-esteem. However, a recent article in New York Magazine suggests that in some circumstances, praising our kids may have the opposite effect.
The article reports that research conducted at Columbia University found children who were praised for things like intelligence or smartness were much less likely to choose activities which challenged them, and were much more likely to give up when things became difficult. On the other hand, children who were praised for effort (or other things in their control) were much more likely to stick with difficult tasks. This seems to be consistent with many other studies which suggest that children who are praised for things like success and achievement tend to be more concerned with maintaining their image. They seem to become dependent on external praise for a sense of self-worth, rather than developing their own sense of internal motivation and satisfaction.
The article suggests that not all praise is “bad” but that in order to be helpful, praise should be specific and should emphasise things in the child’s control (such as their effort and values) rather than praising them for innate gifts or talents (such as intelligence, physical coordination or beauty). The sincerity of the praise also seems to have an effect on how helpful it is for children.
Alfie Kohn, originally published in Parents magazine, goes a step further and suggests a number of alternatives to over-praising children. For example, saying nothing or simply saying what you saw without using judgements like “good” and “bad” can help children develop their sense of curiosity and persistence. Kohn also suggests that “saying less, and listening more” also helps nourish their self-esteem and resilience.
I know I’m doing the wrong thing but…our baby sleeps in bed with us…This is the most common answer I hear when I ask parents who are having sleep or settling difficulties “where does your baby sleep?”
In Western societies, such as Australia, the practice of bed-sharing (or “co-sleeping”) is largely frowned on. It involves having your baby sleep in the same bed as one or both parents. Historians have highlighted that bed-sharing began to be widely discouraged during the Victorian era when it was believed that children should be “seen and not heard”. This was the same time it was believed that babies and children needed to be treated sternly and given large doses of physical punishment in order to develop into responsible adults. During the 1950’s bed-sharing became actively discouraged in America as a way of making babies more “independent”, a philosophy which quickly spread to the rest of the Western world. Putting a baby in a separate bed from their parents continues to be the most common advice given by parenting books and experts.
However, many parents of a new-born baby discover that their baby has not read the same parenting books or consulted with the same health professionals who advise against co-sleeping! Some parents find that their baby has their own preferences about where they sleep, and that sharing a bed is the only way to get a few precious hours of unbroken rest. This difference between the advice and the reality can create a huge amount of guilt and tension for many parents who bed-share with their baby.
One of the most common beliefs about co-sleeping is that it stops babies from learning to sleep “independently” or from learning how to “self-settle”. This creates a fear for many parents that their baby will somehow never “leave” the family bed. Another common fear about co-sleeping is about rolling on, or smothering, the baby.
Just to confuse things further for parents, many of the world’s leading researchers on infant sleep actually disagree with the parenting books. For example, Dr. James McKenna has researched infant sleep for well over 20 years and is considered the world’s leading expert on babies and sleep. Based on his research, McKenna is a strong supporter of co-sleeping for some babies.
Advocates of co-sleeping note that it is only in the last few years in the whole evolution of human history, where babies have slept separately from their parents. They argue that it is hard to see, if co-sleeping is such a “bad” practice, how the species have survived up until now when we have always co-slept. Even today, between 70% - 90% of the world’s population still share a bed with their baby (though many parents in Western societies do it in “secret”, for fear of being judged). In countries where bed-sharing is openly practiced (such as Japan), incidences of cot-death are almost non-existent.
Through studies in sleep labs, where mothers and babies are observed while they sleep, McKenna’s research team has found numerous benefits of co-sleeping. These include:
~ co-sleeping babies cry less, and are much quicker to settle than babies who sleep in separate rooms;
~ most parents tend to get more sleep, and better quality sleep, when their baby is in bed with them;
~ mums who co-sleep are able to breastfeed more often and seem to have less breastfeeding problems;
~ babies arouse more often when they co-sleep, and their breathing is triggered more often in the deep sleep state associated with cot-death.
Experts in child brain development (such as Brazelton and Sears) also support bed-sharing for some babies, noting that it helps promote the process of attachment and connection in the family. This has important neurological (brain development) consequences, which in actual fact help establish the foundation for greater independence and resilience later in life ~ rather than inhibiting it.
Of course, just as there are risks associated with sleeping separately, there are some risks associated with bed-sharing. For example, McKenna and other researchers have found that bed-sharing can be dangerous for a baby if parents smoke, or if they consume alcohol or other drugs. Water-beds, couches and soft mattresses are not safe for babies to bed-share. Regardless of where a baby sleeps, care must be taken not to overheat your baby and to ensure that a baby cannot become wedged or trapped in railings or down the side of a mattress.
It is also true to say that some babies and parents simply don’t sleep well in bed together. If bed-sharing is not for you, many of the benefits of co-sleeping can still be gained by having your baby in a cot next to your bed (within arm’s reach). Because being close to parents during sleep has so many benefits, “room-sharing” to at least 6 months is now the current recommendation of the SIDS and Kids safe sleeping guidelines. Specialst "side car" cots are available from the Australian Breastfeeding Association shop for this purpose.
So as with most things, there is no single “right” answer for all families when it comes to where your baby sleeps, and there is no need to feel guilty for doing what works in your own circumstances. The SIDS and Kids Foundation of Australia agrees that, where parents don’t smoke and use all the safe co-sleeping practices, there is no evidence of increased risks associated with co-sleeping, and that there is certainly no single answer about what is right or wrong in all situations. Parents are usually the best experts in determining what “works” in their own circumstances.
If bed-sharing is something that you practice (or want to practice) there are an increasing number of books available just on this topic. These books describe how to co-sleep safely, and can also answer some of the more tricky questions such as how to transition your baby into their own bed, and how parents can maintain intimacy with each other while either bed-sharing or room-sharing with their baby.
Using Massage to Develop your Baby’s Social SkillsParents often ask questions in infant massage workshops about the development of their baby’s social skills. These commonly include questions about babies and toddlers who are biting and hitting, and we also often discuss topics about how children learn empathy, self-respect and other boundaries in social situations.
Infant Massage is a wonderful – and very powerful – way to help your baby develop a whole range of social skills that they will need as they grow older. For example, did you know that research has shown the single greatest predictor of violence in teenagers is lack of touch during infancy? Simply by massaging your baby you are helping them to establish a strong foundation for positive social skills later in life. Massage helps to do this by:
~ releasing chemicals that help “wire up” the parts of the brain responsible for the expression of self-worth, kindness, trust and affection towards other human beings;
~ calming your baby’s nervous system so they have less need to release pent up (neurological and emotional) tension through biting, hitting, crying, etc.; and
~ perhaps most importantly, massage helps your baby learn from the very beginning that they have a right to be respected and to say “no” to unwanted touch. In turn, this helps them learn self-boundaries and self-respect. As they grow and develop it also helps them to understand and respect that other people also have boundaries and feelings as well.
To use your massage time to help your baby develop the foundations for social skills later in life:
~ always follow their “yes” and “no” signals;
~ perform massage as regularly and frequently as you both feel comfortable to help the flow of “relationship chemicals” into your baby’s brain;
~ as your child grows and develops, encourage them to tell you what parts of massage they like the most and focus on these;
~ encourage discussion about how things feel during the massage. This can include asking your baby if something feels “nice” or if it has a “yucky” feeling. Even before your baby speaks this will help them learn words that describe feelings associated with interacting and relating to other people. As they grow, they will be able to associate your words with actual physical experiences that they can relate to (For example, you can say to your three-year old “It feels yucky for your friend when you hit her”). Because you have followed your baby’s “yes” and “no” signals from an early age, they will already have from you a strong role model and sense of appropriate ways to interact with others; and
~ make sure massage time is a time of kindness and respect between you both – avoid using massage if you or your baby are feeling frustrated or annoyed toward each other.
Featured website – Canberra Baby WearersOne of the most interesting things about teaching infant massage and “baby sleep” workshops is that people coming along at any one time often share similar challenges. These past few months we have seen a lot of parents who are having challenges that can often be reduced by a baby being carried and being in close physical contact with mum and dad.
However, it is not always easy to carry a baby throughout the day – particularly if there is a short supply of other adults around who can help. That’s where the use of a baby sling comes in. A baby carrier or sling can be a really effective way of carrying your baby and giving them all the benefits that they need – while allowing you to do the things that you need to do.
But how do you choose a sling? What is the best way to carry your baby if they have reflux or colic? What about if you have bad back pain or find the closeness of your baby a bit confining? What if you can’t afford a sling…how can you make your own using just a sheet of fabric? How do you adapt slings and baby carriers for a growing child?
Canberra Babywearers is a wonderful group of parents who have lots of experiences with using slings in all sorts of circumstances. You can join a free on-line discussion group to get answers to your questions, tips and hints, and also just to chat in general about shared issues. Canberra Babywearers also regularly meet up in real life, and for some this could be a chance to enjoy networking with some likeminded parents.
(And as something extra…The Canberra Babywearers group is organised by a woman named Emma, who also runs a shop called Brindabella Baby. Emma is a mum, and an incredibly supportive of other parents. We are giving her a plug here because she sells a range of slings through her business, and encourages mums and dads to visit her and try on a range of slings before buying ~ we think this is a great service as it takes so much of the risk and guess-work out of finding a sling that is right for you and your baby.)
Featured Book – Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way we ParentOne of the most common comments made by new parents is that the range of conflicting advice given about the “right” way to care for a baby is at best confusing, and often overwhelming.
Our Babies, Ourselves is an informative and deeply researched book that challenges the idea that there is one “right” way to care for your baby. Written by Meredith Small, an anthropologist and social scientist, this book examines how the way we raise babies in our society is often based on cultural beliefs, how these beliefs have changed dramatically throughout human history – and how these beliefs may not always be what is biologically needed by either ourselves or our children.
The first chapters in the book explore the evolution of babies and parenting – how the ways we “used to” care for babies was often perfectly adapted for our biological and social needs. The book then goes on to explore how parenting traditions began to change as human beings spread across the earth and became much more culturally diverse. Later chapters in the book look at specific topics – including the “hot” issues of sleep, crying and feeding.
Rather than proposing that there is one “right” way of caring for babies, this book shows how parents in all cultures are constantly challenged to weigh up the needs of their babies with the constraints and demands of daily life. This book lends support to the approach that we use in infant massage: “If it feels good for you, and if it feels good for your baby, then it is usually the right thing to do”. Reading this book will help many parents build the confidence needed to evaluate parenting advice given by well-meaning experts and friends, and to above all else discover and trust in their own parenting wisdom.
Featured Community Group – LETSEver wanted to give your child piano lessons but can’t afford it? What about those much needed repairs to the back deck that never happen because of other bills and commitments? As times get more financially tough, we are always on the lookout for ways that families in our community can save money. That’s why we were very excited to discover that Canberra has its very own LETS group up and running.
“LETS” stands for “Local Energy Trading System”, and is based on the belief that each person has unique skills and attributes that are of value to their community. Rather than using your hard-earned cash to pay for something you need, LETS is a system where you can trade your skills or products for other goods and services. For example, if you are great at sewing you can trade your skills with other members for anything from gardening, natural healing, computer repairs, garden produce and food, second-hand items, plumbing and books. In LETS, no cash changes hands. Just about anything can be traded – from housekeeping and pet-walking, through to professional services such as accounting, graphic design and legal advice. The cost of goods and services is decided before each transaction. When you trade your goods and services through LETS you build up credit, which can be traded for other goods and services that you need.
Membership is affordable (currently $25 per year for a household). To find out more about how LETS works, or to join, call 6288 0252 or 6249 6819 or follow the links below:
A Chef’s Perspective on Kids & Healthy Eating.As a qualified chef who is involved with the community sector I get asked to do all sorts of interesting things. Recently, I was invited to do some catering for a mother’s group and their young children. My brief was to make simple foods, that could be easily and cheaply prepared at home, and that would encourage a bunch of 2 and 3 year olds to eat more healthy foods. Despite having worked in some of the most busy and up-market restaurants in Australia, the challenge of getting a bunch of little folk to eat healthy was one of the most daunting challenges I have faced in my career!
In today’s society there is an overwhelming emphasis on “eating healthy”. We know that there are many physical and social benefits of this. But I have also noticed that we have developed so much anxiety about the nutritional value and composition of the foods we eat. Many parents I meet want to learn ways that they can “hide” nutrients in foods. In some cases we even pay huge amounts of money for foods that are fortified with special nutrients – such as “calcium enriched white breads” and sugars that have added nutrients to make us “smart”. On the surface these foods seem appealing because they are an easy way to “trick” our children into eating foods that are marketed as “healthy”. Wouldn’t it be so much easier (and cheaper) if we could simply find a way to encourage our children to eat actual fruit, vegetables and genuinely healthy foods by choice?
With all of this cultural anxiety about nutrition, it is no wonder that “healthy foods” are seen as too hard by many parents and are rejected by young children. To some people’s great surprise then, it was a simple recipe for a Tandoori Chicken Salad that was the most popular in the mum’s and kids group I worked with. Although this recipe does taste great, I think the reason the kids devoured it was that we involved them in the process of cooking – from selecting the ingredients, through to helping with the preparation of the meal.
Getting kids involved in cooking at home can include growing their own veges (start with something simple like a lettuce in a pot), choosing the ingredients from the supermarket, planning a meal, helping mum or dad to prepare the ingredients, sitting down to enjoy the meal together without the TV at least a couple of nights each week, tasting food from each other’s plates, and (joy of joys) getting the kids involved in the clean-up. These are all magical experiences for children because – when done with mum or dad - their imaginations are engaged and it feeds their basic instinct to connect and spend time with the people they love. This matters so much more than whether you use sauce from a jar, or your own home-made concoction. For children food is not about nutrients – it is part of the experience of belonging and participating in family life. As a chef, I believe the secret to getting kids to eat healthy is to focus a little bit less on the nutritional composition of our food, to relax a little, and re-discover the simple art and pleasure of cooking, eating and sharing a meal with our children, friends and families.
Tandoori Chicken Salad (serves 4)Ingredients
(1) The Chicken
~ approx. 500g chicken breast (chicken thighs also work just as well)
~ 3 tablespoons of Tandoori paste (It’s fine to use a jar - Sharwoods ‘Medium’ is good)
~ 3 tablespoons of natural, unflavoured yogurt
(2) The Salad
~ roasted capsicum (you can roast them yourself or buy them already prepared in a jar from most delicatessens and many supermarkets)
~ cherry tomatoes
~ salad greens (such as lettuce, rocket or baby spinach)
(3) The Dressing
~ 2 tablespoons of mango chutney (available in the supermarket)
~ 2 tablespoons of lime juice (you’ll need to squeeze 2 or 3 limes to make enough)
~ 3 tablespoons of olive oil
Recipe
~ Mix equal quantities of Tandoori paste and natural yogurt.
~ Leave the chicken breasts whole or cut into large pieces (it is easier to cook them in large pieces) and marinate in the Tandoori/ yogurt mixture for at least 2 hours (preferably overnight).
~ If roasting your own capsicum: Brush the capsicum with a little oil and roast in a hot oven (220*C) for about 30 minutes or until the skin is blistered and coming away from the flesh (it is okay if they are a bit burnt). When you think the capsicum is cooked take it from the oven and put in a bowl and cover with cling wrap (this traps steam and makes it easier to peel the capsicum). When cool enough to handle – under cold running water peel and de-seed the capsicum, then dry and cut into strips. (You can also use this recipe to preserve capsicum – place the roast capsicum in a clean glass jar and cover with olive oil).
~ Grill, roast or pan-fry the marinated chicken until cooked through (cooking time will vary depending on the thickness of the chicken). Be aware that when you put the chicken in a hot pan it will spatter and this can be really messy (but the flavour is worth the mess). Allow the cooked chicken to cool and then cut into slices.
~ For the dressing put the chutney in a bowl and whisk in the lime juice. Gradually whisk in the olive oil. Taste the dressing, if it is too sweet add more lime juice. If it is too tart add more chutney. If it seems too strong you can add more olive oil.
~ To prepare the salad, wash and prepare salad greens. Cut cherry tomatoes in half. In a large bowl add tomatoes, capsicum, greens and chicken. Pour over some dressing and mix together. Be careful not to add too much dressing as it can very strong (you just want a light coating to flavour the greens). Serve the salad with a little extra dressing drizzled over the top. It’s also nice to serve some crusty bread with it.
Notes
~ All these ingredients are available at major supermarkets – roasted capsicum can also be found in the deli.
~ This makes delicious leftovers so it’s a good idea to make extra.
~ You don’t have to make a salad the way I do – put anything you like (or have available) in: cucumber, avocado, fruit, carrot, anything really.
~ Use the Tandoori marinate on drumsticks for a cheap meal or for lunchboxes.
~ This recipe is lovely made into sandwiches or wraps. It can also be eaten with rice.
What’s On for Families in Canberra?Want something to do with your weekend? Looking for today’s movie times? Interested in learning a new skill? Need some specific parenting advice or support? Then don’t forget to check out our FREE calendar of things to do in Canberra for parents, kids and families. Our calendar is regularly updated, so there is always something new to look at.
One of the great events coming up is the Baby & Kids Market on 16th May. The market offers a huge range of pre-loved baby and children’s clothing, toys and other items at a fraction of the cost that you would pay new. For example, rather than paying $5000 to set up a new nursery, you can often pick up everything you need in great condition from as little as $500.
Goods sold at the market include things for newborns, through to 7 years of age. Stall holders are other parents, whose children have outgrown or no longer need the items.
The International Association of Infant Massage will have a stall at the May Baby and Kids Markets, and be giving away a free show bag for parents. They will also be fresh supplies of baby massage oils and other items for sale. So why not come along, say hello, check out all the wonderful stalls, and grab yourself a bargain?
Some other events featured on our calendar include:
~ Canberra’s Mother’s Day Party in the Park (10th May)
~ Handmade Upmarket (23rd May)
~ Rhyming Connections Parent-Child Activity Program (on-going)
~ plus many others
Let us know about an upcoming community or family event in Canberra
General Infant Massage Workshops for All Families These workshops are for parents/ carers whose babies are not yet crawling. They are run once a week for five weeks. Sessions usually last about 1 hour. Babies attend sessions with their parents and our workshops are structured so that all babies are welcome to sleep, cry, eat and do whatever they need to do to be comfortable and happy! All classes are taught by an International Association of Infant Massage Certified Instructor. Babies with special needs are welcome.
Next classes scheduled:
Saturdays 10am ~ starting 9th May 2009 (Southside)
Mondays 10am ~ starting 11th May 2009 (Southside)
Fridays 9:30am ~ starting 15th May 2009 (Southside)
Infant Massage & Post-Natal Depression Workshops
These workshops are for parents/ carers who have a baby who is not yet crawling, and who have experienced symptoms of PND, anxiety or simply a sense of overwhelm that is making it difficult to adjust to having a new baby. This workshop is almost the same as our general classes (see above), but are held in smaller groups and with a specific focus on the challenges of PND, anxiety and adjusting to being a new parent. All classes are taught by an International Association of Infant Massage Certified Instructor. Babies with special needs are welcome.
IMPORTANT NOTE: these classes are extremely popular.
Next classes scheduled:
Mondays 12:30pm ~ starting 11th May 2009 (Southside)
Massage for Babies & Children with Special Needs
In this free workshop parents will have the chance to switch off from activities that focus on their child’s disability, and to simply enjoy some quality time with their baby. This is a precious opportunity that many parents miss out on, when their baby or child is diagnosed with a disability.
Benefits of Infant Massage include:
~ Improved attachment and bonding
~ Better sleep patterns
~ Improved physical development
~ Settled moods
~ Improved understanding of baby’s communication cues and signals
~ Reduced tummy troubles
~ Improved emotional development and social skills
~ Reduced sense of depression and isolation for new parents
~ Improved parenting confidence
These benefits of infant massage can be particularly important for babies with a disability, and their parents.
This workshop is run over 6 weeks, for about an hour each week, starting on Friday 15th May. It is taught by a fully qualified Registered Nurse and Infant Massage Instructor certified by the International Association of Infant Massage, Australia.
To be eligible for this free course you need to be the parent or carer of a baby (aged 0-8 months) or an older child who is not yet crawling or walking, and who has a disability.
Places are strictly limited
Book a place or make an enquiry about this workshop by phone on (02) 6207 3628
The contents of this newsletter are intended for general interest purposes only and should not be construed as advice for your specific circumstances. Please consult a qualified professional if you have any questions about your personal circumstances.
